Shamantha Valentyn
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Shamantha Valentyn was born and raised in Port Elizabeth and moved to Clanwilliam to complete the practical element of her studies.
Shamantha Valentyn is very involved with the church and the children of the community. She shares her opinion on what could be done to help improve the lives of the young people of Clanwilliam, and her belief that everyone needs to work together to achieve these solutions.
Shamantha Valentyn was born, raised and went to school in Port Elizabeth. She grew up in a family of two brothers and two sisters, but her brothers and father have passed away. She enjoyed her childhood and feels you only notice the shortcomings of your growing-up years in hindsight.
The first time she came to Clanwilliam she had no idea that it existed. She had never thought of what might exist beyond Cape Town. She enjoys the town and its variety of churches, which is unlike Wupperthal with its single church. Shamantha moved to Clanwilliam to complete the practical element of her studies. She feels that children today have much less respect for adults. There are not enough facilities in Clanwilliam for the children to keep themselves busy and express themselves. The children are not properly cared for, do not have visions or aspirations for what they want to be or how they would like to live one day, and the church can only help a limited amount. Back when she was a child, school was different and teachers were more supportive. The children also do not get appropriate help if they are involved in drug abuse. The pastors of Clanwilliam get together to discuss possible solutions, but Shamantha believes that everything begins at home, although families often do not have a mother or father anymore. There are solutions, but everyone must work together to achieve them.
I’m Shamantha, born Lloyd, married Valentyn. I grew up in Port Elizabeth, went to school there. After school I moved to (inaudible 00:23) Cape Town to study. Parental home, mother and father, we were two brothers, two sisters; at the moment we’re only two sisters and a mother. My father died in 1995, lost two brothers in the year 2009, so only the three of us are left.
Most of my childhood I grew up in Port Elizabeth, went to school there, domestic circumstances good. Grew up comfortably, there was need, but one always stays positive, when you’re an adult yourself, and so on. But in general a nice childhood. I belonged to the Congregational Church. Born there, I mean baptised, confirmed. When I decided to become a minister, I was forced to leave the church for the Moravian Church, so that I could complete my studies. For the four years, from 1994 to 1999, ’98. Yes. That’s about it.
Tell me, when you first came to Clanwilliam, what was it like here?
To be honest, to start with, Clanwilliam, at the seminary, when we were still at the seminary, and because I didn’t know the history of the Moravian Church, I had no idea that Clanwilliam or Wupperthal even existed. I only understood about the Cape – there the Cape stopped. Never thought further, about the Northern Cape. But when I finished my two years’ practical in Port Elizabeth, I received my calling letter, I had to continue my practical in Wupperthal. And then I discovered, this is Clanwilliam and this is Wupperthal. And then I started my practical in 2000, in 2001 I was ordained. I came to Clanwilliam nine years later.
It was a good experience for me because I grew up in a town like this, you could say, and it was nice for me because, firstly, different churches, to me the church is important, you understand, and… you can build relationships with people that you could never do in Wupperthal, concentrated in one place. But it was, it was good. The impression was, it was a good place… Of course, each place has its own little things, unique things, one could say.
But at the moment it’s, it’s okay, it’s okay.
What would you say, what do the youth of today have to deal with which wasn’t common when you were young? How was life in your time compared to today?
Okay. Where I grew up in Port Elizabeth, speaking about things that I have experience of myself… there is a very big difference. Firstly, you, we did things but not as openly. In terms of, if you’re talking about drugs, one didn’t know about it. I mean, you knew, but you didn’t know what it looked like, what, what a person looked like who was a drug addict, and that I first noticed, which made me very sad, in Clanwilliam. And the respect is, in the past one still had a bit of respect for the adult, I would say. If you saw someone older approaching and you were doing something wrong, you would run away. Or, or lay low for a bit, as they say, and… But presently, no, the children, there isn’t, but I think it’s mostly Clanwilliam, because it is a small town. There are no facilities here to keep the young people busy. And it’s a shame that our children… perish in Clanwilliam. They’re not looked after enough. The church is there, but we can only do so much, you know, and, and after church, what do they do? With, with regard to social assistance, there is no… expression that they can give to it. And especially, I noticed that the children go to school, finish school, many of them don’t have any vision for what they want to become after Grade 12. One can look at it in different ways, but unemployment is… In our time there was also unemployment but it didn’t hold us back from what we wanted, that which we wanted to achieve in life, you know. And I think what made it possible was that they possibly spoke to their children and said, you don’t have to stay in your circumstances and perish.
School was obviously also different. Teachers told you, you could go further than this, and I believe the teachers also speak today but because, the one thing that was taken out of the schools is, we got hidings. And nowadays children may not be given hidings. So, the Bible says, the rod must not be spared, because it brings you to a point where you say, I don’t want to do this any more, I want to look for something better that I can do. And, and today teachers provide the direction, show the way themselves at home. And yes, it’s a pity. That is what saddens me a lot, and in the place where I grew up, it is that, as I said, our children with the, with drugs, which also lead to alcohol abuse. At the end of the day that is…
There are places that the children can go to, like SANCA, understand. If the parent doesn’t know where to go to, take the child and… From what I’ve heard personally and know from experience, is that the closest place is Lutzville, and the channels that you have to go through to get your child there… To get him, to get him clean at the end of the day. But the biggest pro-, the children perish because they don’t, they don’t have a vision, and the unemployment. Now, these are my circumstances, what can I do?
In your opinion, how can the problems be addressed, what can we do? What more can our community leaders do to help, to solve this?
I always say that there is a solution for everything if there is cooperation. And at the moment we have, we call it a Ministers’ Fraternal (?? 09:33). Our churches, the ministers of all the churches, pastors who are in the town, get together and we talk about our shared social problems. And we look at solutions, what we can do to save where there is something to save. But at the end of the day it’s, everything starts in the house. With Ma and Pa. And at the moment, like we live presently, households no longer consist of a mother and father. It consists of a single parent, it consists of an uncle or a grandmother. And, or a teenage mother. And that makes it even more difficult to educate that child, and to get him to a point where he or she can have good judgment about what is right and what is wrong. Because the, what is most important, what I notice and what I observe, is that, it’s all about, shall I say, survival for people today. Work. I have to work because I have to provide for my daily needs. And as a result of that a lot of the, of the things that have to be looked at with my child – Show me your homework. What did you learn at school today? How was your day? Who are your friends? Some, the parent, or parents, leave the house in the morning, get back tonight, there isn’t that conversation around the table, like we had. And that makes it difficult to find a real solution.
And for me it’s also about, you, one talks and you, you talk, and it depends on the person whether he really listens, and whether he’s willing to do what he hears, and, and I know, it was the same with us, people always wanted to, when your parents spoke to you, don’t do this, then you wanted to know why you shouldn’t, because you wanted to feel before you hear. And it is still like that today, and when you’ve felt, then you find out, it’s true, what my grandmother or my grandfather, my mother said, or what my father said.
So, I believe there are solutions but all of us have to stand united. All of us have to stand united, but for me it starts at home. And then, that, then it can ripple outwards. And naturally the church is also quite important, because the church consists of the family.
Okay, on a lighter note, did your mother and them, and father and them, tell you stories when you were growing up? Any ghost stories, legends, or scary stories?
You have me now. Oh golly, my mother and them, we didn’t. I can’t really remember stories, I only know what my mother always, always stories about, about warnings, you know.
Yes.
What’ll happen if you do naughty things, or take the wrong decisions at the end of the day, and it made me, probably made me the person that I am today, so that I’m careful. I think, should I do that or should I not do it, because I think of the repercussions, what will happen if I take the wrong decision. But at the end of the day, if you don’t learn from your wrongs, you won’t have experience. Just so. But, yes, that is basically all. Stories were what we, you know, had at school and in library books. I can remember, my first library book that I read was Genoeg is genoeg [Enough is Enough]. It’s about a dog and the grandfather and his grandchild. The dog was very naughty and they had to teach this dog, educate him in how to be a dog because he destroyed everything, and the child always said, “Grandpa, enough is enough. Now we really have to teach him.” You know, and it was, well then, and my father often told us bedtime stories when we went to bed. When he was late home from work, he usually came into the room and then he wanted to hear how we were and later on he told us a little story and then we fell asleep.
Shamantha Valentyn is op Port Elizabeth gebore en getoë en het Clanwilliam toe gekom om die praktiese deel van haar studies te voltooi.
Shamantha is baie betrokke by die kerk en die kinders in die gemeenskap. Sy deel haar mening oor wat gedoen kan word om die lewe vir die jongmense op Clanwilliam te verbeter, en sê sy glo almal moet saamwerk om oplossings te vind.
Shamantha Valentyn is op Port Elizabeth gebore en getoë en het ook daar skoolgegaan. Sy het grootgeword saam met twee broers en twee susters, maar haar broers en pa is oorlede. Sy het haar kinderjare geniet en voel ’n mens sien eers die tekortkominge as jy terugkyk.
Voor sy die eerste keer op Clanwilliam gekom het, het sy nie eers geweet daar bestaan so ’n dorp nie. Sy het nooit gewonder wat anderkant die Kaap lê nie. Sy geniet die dorp en sy verskeidenheid van kerke. Dis so anders as Wupperthal met sy enkele kerk. Shamantha het Clanwilliam toe gekom om die praktiese komponent van haar studies te voltooi. Sy voel dat kinders vandag baie minder respek vir volwassenes het. Daar is nie genoeg fasiliteite op Clanwilliam vir die kinders om hulleself besig te hou en uitdrukking aan hulle talente te gee nie. Die kinders word nie behoorlik versorg nie; hulle het nie ’n visie of aspirasies van wat hulle eendag wil wees of hoe hulle wil lewe nie, en die kerk kan net in ’n beperkte mate help. Toe sy ’n kind was, was skool anders en die onderwysers meer ondersteunend. Die kinders kry ook nie die regte hulp as hulle by dwelmmisbruik betrokke raak nie. Clanwilliam se predikante en pastore kom byeen om oor moontlike oplossings te praat, maar Shamantha glo dat alles tuis begin, hoewel daar dikwels nie meer ’n ma of pa in die gesin is nie. Daar is oplossings, maar almal moet saamwerk om dit te vind.
Ek is Shamantha, Lloyd gebore, nè, getroud Valentyn. Ek’s in Port Elizabeth grootgeword, skool daar gegaan, na skool het ek verhuis, (onhoorbaar 00:23) Kaapstad toe, vir studie, ouerhuis, ma en pa, ons was twee broers, twee susters, op die oomblik is ons nou net twee susters en ’n ma. My pa is oorlede in 1995, twee broers in die jaar 2009, verloor, so dis net ons drie nou oor.
ja, die meeste van my kinderjare in Port Elizabeth grootgeword, skool daar gegaan, huislike omstandighede goed. Lekker grootgeword, daar was, behoefte, maar ’n mens leef maar altyd op, wannneer jy self volwasse is, en so aan. Maar oor die algemeen lekker kinderjare, ek het aan die Congregational-kerk behoort. Daar gebore, ek meen nou gedoop, aangeneem. Toe ek nou besluit het om leraar te word, moes ek noodgedwonge die kerk verlaat om na die Morawiese Kerk te kom, sodat ek my studies kan voltooi. Vir die vier jaar, van 1994 tot neëntien nege-en-, wat nou? … ag-en-negentig. Ja. Dit is omtrent al.
Sê my, toe juffrou eerste in Clanwilliam gekom het, hoe was die omgewing gewees?
Om eerlikwaar te sê, om nou te begin, van Clanwilliam, op seminarie, toe ons nou nog op seminarie was, en omdat ek nie die Morawiese Kerk se geskiedenis ken nie, het ek geen benul gehad van Clanwilliam of Wupperthal, wat bestaan nie. My verstaan was nou net van Kaap – daar stop die Kaap. Nooit gedink verder as die Noord-Kaap wat dan nou is nie. Maar toe ek nou my twee jaar prakties in Port Elizabeth klaarmaak, kry ek nou my beroepsbrief, ek moet nou my prakties verder doen in Wupperthal, en toe ontdek ek nou dis Clanwilliam en dis Wupperthal. En toe ek nou begin met my prakties in 2000, in 2001 is ek georden, nege jaar daarna, toe kom ek nou Clanwilliam toe.
Vir my was dit, ’n goeie ervaring omdat ek in so ’n dorp, kan ’n mens maar sê, grootgeword het en dit was vir my lekker omdat, in eerste, verskillende kerke, vir my is die kerk mos nou belangrik, verstaan, en, en … Jy kan verhoudinge bou met mense as wat jy nooit in Wupperthal op een sentrale plek gekonsentreer het. Maar dit was, dit was goed. Die indruk was, dis ’n goeie plek, elke plek het maar sy dingetjies wat daar is, soos ook maar so uniek, soos mens maar sê.
Maar op die oomblik is dit, dit gaan, dit gaan.
Hoe sal Juffrou sê, waarmee het die jeug vandag te kampe wat nie gewoonlik in Juffrou se tyd gewees het, hoe was dit in Juffrou se tyd, ten opsigte van vandag?
Oukei. Waar ek nou grootgeword het in Port Elizabeth, as ek nou praat waarvan ek ondervinding het, vir myself, is, is, is ’n baie groot verskil. Eerstens, jy, ons het dinge gedoen, maar dit was nie so openlik nie. In terme van, as jy nou praat van die dwelmmiddels wat daar is, ’n mens het nie daarvan geweet nie. In terme van, jy’t geweet, maar jy’t nie geweet hoe lyk dit nie, wat hoe ’n persoon lyk wat ’n dwelmverslaafde is nie, enne, dit wat ek eerste opgelet het, wat my baie hartseer maak, in Clanwilliam. En die respek is, destyds het ’n mens nog ’n bietjie respek gehad vir die volwassene, sal ek nou sê, as jy nou iemand groot sien aankom en jy doen nou iets verkeerd, dan gaan jy nou darem nog weghardloop. Nè, of, of bietjie laag lê, soos hulle, nè, in terme van, sê, en, maar, maar vandag, nee, die kinders, daar is nie. Maar ek dink dit is grot-, merendeels Clanwilliam, omdat dit ’n klein dorp is, hier is nie, niks fasiliteite, om die jongmense mee besig te hou nie. En dis ’n jammerte dat ons kinders, vergaan in Clanwilliam. Daar word nie genoeg gekyk na hulle nie. Die kerk is daar, maar ons kan mos maar net soveel doen, nè, en, en, en na kerk, wat doen hulle wat, wat die sosiale help betref, daar is geen, uiting wat hulle kan, kan gee daarna nie. En veral soos, ek let op dat die kinders, gaan, gaan skool, maak skool klaar, baie van hulle het nie visie, dit wat hulle wil word na ’n graad twaalf nie. Mens kan merendeels daarna kyk, maar werkloosheid is, en in onse tyd was daar ook werkloosheid, maar, dit het nie ons teruggehou vir dit wat ons graag wil, iets, dit wat ons graag wil bekom in die lewe nie, nè. En, ek dink, wat dit ook gemaak het dat ons het ook moontlik met hulle kinders gepraat om te sê, jy’t nie nodig om in jou omstandighede te bly en te vergaan nie.
Die skool was ook natuurlik, ook anders. Onderwysers het gepraat, jy, jy kán verder as, as dit gaan en ek glo ook vandag praat die onderwysers ook, maar omdat, die een ding wat uit die skool uit weggevat was, is mos nou, ons het pak gekry. En deesdae kan die kinders mos nie pak kry nie. So, die Bybel sê mos, die roede moet nie gespaar word nie, want dit bring jou mos op ’n punt waar jy sê, ek wil nie meer dit doen nie, so ek wil kyk na iets beters, om, om, te bekom, ek het, en, en die onderwysers wat jy ook vandag het, is mos nou die rigting-aanwysers, wat self by die huis wys die, wys die rigting aan. En, ja, dit is net ’n jammerte. Dit is wat my baie hartseer maak, en, in die plek wat ek grootgeword het, is dit dat, soos ek nou sê, ons kinders met die, met dwelms, wat lei na drankmisbruik toe ook. Aan die einde van die dag is dit…
Daar’s plekke waar die kinders na toe kan gaan, soos SANCA, verstaan, as die ouer nie weet waa’n’toe om te gaan nie, vat die kind en, dit is mos wat vir my persoonlik wat ek nou van hoor en wat ek uit ondervinding uit weet, is dat die naaste plek is Lutzville, en die kanale wat daar deur gegaan moet word, om jou kind daar te kry. Om hom, om hom skoon te kry, aan die einde van die dag. Maar die grootste besi-, die kinders vergaan omdat hulle nie, daar’s nie visie nie. Wat hulle het nie, en, en die werkloosheid. Nou, ek sit maar die omstandighede van, wat kan ek dan nou maak.
So, in Juffrou se opinie, hoe dink Juffrou, hoe kan die probleme aangespreek word, of wat kan ons doen? Of wat kan onse leiers van die gemeenskappe meer doen as wat hulle vandag doen, om dié tipe van probleme aan te spreek, of te help, om dit te probeer oplos?
Ek sê altyd, daar is ’n oplossing vir alles, as daar saamgewerk word. En en op die oomblik is, het ons, ons noem dit ’n Ministers’ Fraternal (?? 09:33), wat ons die kerke, alle kerke se predikante, pastore wat in die dorp is, kom bymekaar en ons, ons praat oor onse gemeenskaplike sosiale probleme praat ons. En ons, ons kyk na oplossings wat ons kan doen, om te red waar daar te redde is, maar aan die einde van die dag is dit, alles begin in die huis. By Ma en Pa en op die oomblik, soos wat ons vandag leef, bestaan huishoudings nie meer uit dit wat ons weet van Ma en Pa nie, nè. Dit bestaan uit ’n enkelouer, dit bestaan uit ’n oom of ’n ouma uit. En, en, of ’n tienerma. En, en, wat dit nog moeiliker maak vir die opvoeding om daai kind op te voed, en om te bring by ’n punt waar hy of sy dan nou ’n goeie oordeel kan hê oor wat is reg en wat is verkeerd. Want die, die, die, wat die belangrikste is, wat ek oplet, en wat ek ook waarneem, is dat, vir mense gaan dit vandag oor, sal ek sê, survival. Werk. Ek moet werk, want ek moet voorsien aan my daaglikse behoeftes en dit maak dat, dat baie van die, van die dinge wat moet gekyk word na om, om met my kind – kom ons kyk na die huiswerk, wat het jy vandag geleer by die skool? Hoe was jou dag? Wie’s jou vriende? Van, die ouer, of ouers, gaan vanoggend uit die huis uit, kom vanaand terug, daar’s nie daai meer daai tafelgesprek, soos ons ken nie. En, en, en dit maak dit moeilik dat dinge regtigwaar kan opgelos word.
En vir my gaan dit ook, jy, jy, ’n mens praat en jy, jy, daar word gepraat en dit hang af van die persoon of hy wel luister, en of hy wel gewillig is om te doen, wat hy hoor, en, en ek weet ook by ons was dit ook, mense wil altyd, as jou ouers met jou gepraat het, moenie so maak nie, dan wil jy weet hoekom nie so maak nie, want jy wil eers voel voor jy hoor. En dit is tog maar vandag, nè, en as jy dan nou gevoel het, en dan, en dan vind jy uit, maar dis waar wat my ouma of my oupa, my ma gesê het, of my pa gesê het.
So, oplossings, ek glo daar is, maar almal moet saamstaan. Almal moet saamstaan, maar vir my is dit begin dit in die huis. En dit dan, dit, kan dit uitkring. En natuurlik is die kerk ook heel belangrik, want die kerk bestaan mos uit die huisgesin.
Oukei, Juffrou, kom ons beweeg na ’n ligter noot. Het Juffrou se ma-hulle en pa-hulle vir Juffrou stories vertel, toe Juffrou opgegroot het, onthou Juffrou nog ’n storie? Enige stories, spookstories, legende, of … bangmaakstorie?
Jy vra my nou vas. O jene, my ma-hulle, ons het nie. Stories kan ek nou nie baie onthou nie, maar ek weet net, al wat my ma altyd, altyd stories van, van waarskuwings, jy weet.
Ja.
Wat gaan gebeur as jy nou, stout dinge aanvang, of verkeerde besluite maak aan die einde van die dag en dit het vir my, seker die mens gemaak wat ek vandag is wat ek nie versigtig is baie, maar ek dink, moet ek dit doen, of moet ek dit nie doen nie, want ek dink aan die nagevolge van wat gaan gebeur as ek die verkeerde besluit maak, maar aan die einde van die dag, as jy ook nie, gaan leer uit jou verkeerde, gaan jy mos nie die ondervinding hê nie. Net so, maar ja, dit is basies al. Stories is wat ons maar op, jy weet, skool en biblioteekboeke, ek kan onthou my eerste biblioteekboek was Genoeg is genoeg wat ek gelees het. Dit gaan oor ’n hond, enne, die oupa en sy kleinkind, die hond wat baie stout was, en hulle moes nou hierdie hond leer, hom opvoed in, hoe om ’n hond te wees, want hy het alles verskeur en wat daar was, en die kind het altyd gesê: “Oupa, genoeg is genoeg. Nou moet ons hom regtigwaar leer.” Jy weet, en, dit was, dit is nou, ja, en, en slaapstories het my pa nou baie vir ons vertel wanneer ons nou gaan slaap het. As hy nou laat van die werk af gekom het, en kom hy gewoonlik in die kamer en dan wil hy mos nou ook weet hoe gaan dit en later se tyd vertel hy ’n klein storietjie en dan raak ons maar aan die slaap.